Questions I Ask Myself

Questions I Ask Myself


Children astound me with their inquisitive minds. The world is wide and mysterious to them, and as they piece together the puzzle of life, they ask “Why?” ceaselessly. Why can’t they have another cookie? Why can’t they stay up after 9:00 pm? Why do they have to share their toys? Why does grandpa have white hair?

As we age, it seems our childlike curiosity diminishes. Yet, after all I have learned, I realize there’s even more I’ve not yet discovered. Through my leadership journey I’ve tried to keep my mind open to growth by continuing to probe for new ideas. In this edition of Leadership Wired, I’d like to share with you the questions I regularly ask myself as a leader.

Questions I Ask Myself

Am I investing in myself?
This is a personal growth question.

Lifelong learners have a common set of characteristics:

(1) They develop a personal growth plan.
(2) They possess a teachable attitude.
(3) They invest in growth-oriented resources and relationships.
(4) They continually leave their comfort zone.
(5) They capture what they learn by applying their knowledge.
(6) They reflect on what they learn and turn experience into insight.
(7) They pass on what they learn to others.

Am I Genuinely Interested In Others?
This is a motive question.

Leaders see before others see, and they see more than others see. Since leaders “figure it out” first, they can be tempted to take advantage of others. Self-centered leaders manipulate when they move people for personal benefit. Mature leaders motivate by moving people for mutual benefit. They place what’s best for others above themselves.

Am I Doing What I Love and Loving What I Do?
This is a passion question.

You will never fulfill your destiny doing work you despise. You are nothing unless it comes from your heart. If you go to work only to cycle through rote processes and functions, then you are effectively retired. It scares me when most people I see, by age 28, are retired. To be a difference-maker, you have to bring passion, commitment, and caring to your career. Passion gives you the energy advantage over others.

Am I Investing My Time with the Right People?
This is a relationship question.

Most people can trace their successes and failures to the relationships in their lives. Be selective about who you join with on the leadership journey. Choose companions with a commitment to personal growth, a healthy attitude, and high potential.

Am I Staying in My Strength Zone?
This is an effectiveness question.

Effective leaders stop working on their weaknesses and diligently develop their strengths. You don’t have to be a jack of all trades. Delegation frees you to focus on what only you can offer to your organization.

Am I Taking Others to a Higher Level?
This is a mission question.

My success is determined by the seeds I sow, not the harvest I reap. My life mission is to add value to leaders who will multiply value to others. Leaders add value to others rather than accumulating value for themselves.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best: “Life's most urgent question is: what are you doing for others?”

Am I Taking Care of Today?
This is a success question.

The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda. Are the habits in your life steering your toward success or simply frittering away your time? Be serious about making each day count.

Am I Taking Time To Think?
This is a leadership question.

A minute of thought is greater than an hour of talk. Taking time to think allows you to live life purposefully. Don’t let life’s circumstances dictate your path or allow the expectations of others to determine your course. Author your own life by clearing your schedule for thinking.

Am I Developing Leaders?
This is a legacy question.

“The ultimate test for a leader is not whether he or she makes smart decisions and takes decisive action, but whether he or she teaches others to be leaders and builds an organization that can sustain its success even when he or she is not around. True leaders put ego aside and strive to create successors who go beyond them.”

~ Lorin Woolfe

Am I Pleasing God?
This is an eternity question.

In the light of history, our years are short and our days are few. Yet, our lives have greater significance than we can imagine. As the Roman general, Maximus, exhorts his men in Gladiator, “What we do in life echoes in eternity.” Live your life honorably and with a clean conscience before God and your fellow man. Focus your effort on worthwhile causes that will outlast your time on this planet.

Pride - A Leader's Greatest Problem

Pride - A Leader's Greatest Problem


Pull a 10-dollar bill from your pocket, and you will see the face of Alexander Hamilton on the front. By merit of his accomplishments, Hamilton should be one of our greatest national heroes. Consider his contributions to America:

• Revolutionary War hero
• George Washington’s chief of staff by age 22
• America’s first Secretary of the Treasury
• Co-author of The Federalist Papers
• Creator of the Coast Guard
• Designer of the nation’s banking and finance system
• Architect of a system of tax collection to bring revenue to the U.S. Government
• Builder of the infrastructure for an industrial economy

Yet, despite displaying the greatest blend of legal, political, and financial knowledge of the founding fathers, Hamilton does not rank among the foremost heroes of our country’s history. Why? Pride. Hamilton’s self-importance and inability to take an insult alienated those around him and sabotaged his career. His ego literally killed him. Far too vain to patch up differences with fellow politician, Aaron Burr, Hamilton was shot and killed by Burr in a duel at the age of 49.

Pride—A Leader’s Greatest Problem

Before diving into the body of this lesson, I’d like to credit my friend Dave Anderson, founder of LearntoLead.com. Many of his thoughts resonate throughout this edition of LW.

I agree with Dave when he suggests pride is the leading culprit of managerial ineffectiveness:

“There are many reasons managers fail. For some, the organization outgrows them. Others don’t change with the times. Some spread themselves too thin and work long and hard but not smart. Many abandon the priorities and disciplines that once made them great and never get back to them. A few make poor character choices…But all these causes for management failure have their root in one common cause: pride. In the simplest terms, pride is devastating. I’m not talking about the pride one has in their work or their accomplishments. I’m indicting the pride that inflates your sense of self-worth and distorts your perspective of reality.” ~ Dave Anderson

There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. “Good pride” represents our dignity and self-respect. “Bad pride” is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance. When you look at the word pride, notice the middle letter is “I”. When you are full of pride on the inside, it makes you stiff, stubborn, and creates strife with others.


The Problems of Pride

1. Pride Stops Us from Building a Team.

Prideful leaders readily contract “Superman Syndrome” and devalue the benefits of teamwork. They rely on their own prowess to solve problems and advance the organization. Blinded by their self-centeredness, arrogant leaders are unable to appreciate the strengths in others.

2. Pride Renders Us Unteachable.

Leaders who are assured they know everything don’t bother about personal growth. Their ego convinces them that they have arrived, and they quit searching for life’s lessons in the people and circumstances around them.

3. Pride Closes Our Mind to Feedback.

Pride deafens us to the advice or warnings of those around us. As Stephen Covey has said, “It takes humility to seek feedback. It takes wisdom to understand it, analyze it, and appropriately act on it.” Without humility, we care about only one opinion—our own.

4. Pride Prevents Us from Admitting Mistakes.

The Duke of Wellington once haughtily drew himself up to his full height and thundered to one of his staff officers, “God knows I have many faults, but being wrong is not one of them!” Pride won’t allow for failure. The egotistical leader blames mistakes on others, justifies them as inevitable, or refuses to acknowledge them.

5. Pride Keeps Us from Making Changes.

Pride will cause leaders to pledge allegiance to the status quo rather than opening themselves to change; especially if the change alters a system they built. Since leaders have emotional equity in their own work, they will justify living with broken systems rather than changing them.

6. Pride Encourages Poor Character Choices

Because of arrogance, ignorance, or a little of both, leaders start taking shortcuts that compromise their values. In their conceit, they think they’re above the rules or are too smart to get caught.

As flawed human beings, we all fall into prideful traps from time to time. However, failing to recognize the error of pride and change course will doom our leadership. Pride is a fatal character flaw and leaders that leave legacies have their character in tact. Leaders who fail to prune their pride will meet demise. That’s not a guess, it’s a guarantee. With pride, it’s not a matter of “if” we will fall, but “when.” There are no exceptions.

7. Pride Hinders Us from Reaching Our Potential.

For leaders to reach full potential, they must be aware of areas in which they can improve. Unfortunately, pride blocks honest self-assessment and prevents leaders from finding the path to better performance.

8. Pride Destroys Relationships.

The opposite of loving others is not hating others but rather obsessing over oneself. When we become self-absorbed, we cut ourselves off from the enjoyment of the relationships in our life. What I call, “The Celebration Principle” says that the true test of relationships is not how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed. If we can’t get excited about the accomplishments of our friends, we had better do some soul-searching.

9. Pride Distorts Your Perspective on Reality

Constantly viewing life through the lens of selfish ambition colors a leader’s outlook. Many problems in business are caused by the ego interfering with judgment. Choices that should be clear to the leader become clouded by an obsession with self advancement.

How to Correct the Pride Problem

1. Recognize Your Pride

“If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, you are very conceited indeed.”

~ C. S. Lewis

2. Admit Your Pride

“There is perhaps not one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive. Even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.”

~ Benjamin Franklin

3. Express Your Gratitude

“A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.”

~ Henry Ward Beecher

4. Say Your Prayers

“Lord, when I am wrong, make me willing to change, and when I am right, make me easy to live with.”

~ Anonymous

5. Practice Serving Others

“The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.”

~ Albert Einstein

6. Learn to Laugh at Yourself

“Blessed are they that laugh at themselves, they shall never cease to be entertained.”

~ Chinese Beatitude

Leaving a Legitimate Leadership Legacy

Leaving a Legitimate Leadership Legacy


As I begin this lesson, I would be remiss not to mention the tremendous contribution of my friend Dick Biggs has made in shaping my thoughts on succession. Several of Dick’s ideas are woven into this edition of Leadership Wired.

A LEGACY OF FREEDOM

President Abraham Lincoln’s leadership through the painful trial of Civil War saved the United States of America and ended the deplorable institution of slavery. In the war’s aftermath, Lincoln faced the challenge of rebuilding the South without restoring its system of white supremacy. Balancing goodwill toward freed blacks and a conciliatory stance toward the former Confederate states, Lincoln appeared to have the perfect temperament to ease the South through a time of healing and into a period of prosperity and equality.

Abraham Lincoln’s assassination plunged the fragile future of the South into uncertainty. His successor, President Andrew Johnson, continued policies of conciliation toward the Southern states, but he did not share Lincoln’s regard for black Americans. By pardoning key leaders of the Confederacy and placing power back in the hands of state legislators in the South, Andrew Johnson reconstructed the South’s oppressive system of white domination. Johnson’s personal racism and inept leadership was responsible for stunting the progress of the civil rights movement and perpetuating injustice in the South for another 100 years.

Abraham Lincoln’s tragic death followed by Andrew Johnson’s deficiencies in rebuilding the South is a testament to the Law of Legacy:

“A Leader’s Lasting Value is Measured by Succession.”

Who knows how far or how quickly the USA may have progressed toward racial equality had Lincoln been able to pass the reins of the government to a like-minded leader?

LEAVING A LEGACY

A turning point in my leadership came when I began to understand the meaning of leaving a legacy. A catalyst for me was a simple statement from management expert, Peter Drucker:
“There is no success without a successor.”

I had always wanted to create lasting value through my life and leadership, so I decided to take seriously the cultivation of successors. I resolved to produce leaders rather than attract followers, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in my leadership. In this lesson, I’d like to explore four aspects of shaping a legitimate leadership legacy:

1. Character
2. Choices
3. Conduct
4. Consequences

Character – Being and becoming a moral example

The two words most commonly linked to character are integrity and honesty. Integrity involves being true to oneself, while honesty means being truthful with others. Each involves being real not fake, genuine not artificial, transparent not deceitful.

You can’t spell integrity without the word grit which is defined as “a firmness of mind,” or “unyielding courage.” It takes a great deal of courage or grit to be true to self. In the end, though, it’s worth the effort because our legacies are going to be impacted greatly by our integrity or lack thereof.

Choices – Thinking clearly and making wise decisions

Careful decision-making requires a sense of right and wrong rooted in character. To make the right decisions consistently, we can’t let external influence or peer pressure cause us to do something wrong when our internal conscience is telling us to do what is right. To violate conscience undermines our self-respect and shatters not only our moral authority, but our confidence as leaders.

We must also understand how pleasure and pain impact our choices. In short, if we enjoy temporary pleasure with a disregard for its harmful effects on us and other people, we’re going to suffer long-term pain. Leadership demands sacrifices for the near-term to receive lasting benefits. The longer we wait to make sacrifices, the harder they become. Successful people make important decisions early in their life, then manage those decisions the rest of their lives.

Conduct – Doing the right things consistently well

Conduct is defined as “a mode of personal behavior.” Only individuals can behave. The conduct of a company, government agency, sports team, or church is a reflection of the conduct of the individuals making up the organization.

To shape the conduct of the individuals who follow us, we must be able to hold them accountable for their behavior. But first, we must be held accountable ourselves. Author Chuck Swindoll says accountability is “a willingness to explain your actions.” If our actions are indefensible, we’ll be stripped of the real authority to exercise moral leadership. We must submit our behavior to the scrutiny of trusted advisors before dictating the conduct of those we lead.

As leaders, we set the tone for the conduct of the individuals in our organization. People do what people see. Conduct is learned through observation. As Dr. Michael Guido says, “The world pays more attention to your conduct than it does to your creed.” As leaders, we teach what we know, but we reproduce who we are.

Consequences – Receiving the results of seeds that we sow

The success of my day is based on the seeds that I sow, not the harvest I reap. Too often, leaders bypass the process of sowing seeds in favor of shortcuts for results. Sadly, the end begins to justify the means, and principles are tossed out for more expedient behavior.

I’ve found submitting to the process of sowing the right seeds will meet with tremendous rewards—whether I see the fruits firsthand or not. Here are five reasons I believe in keeping my attention on sowing well rather than seeing instant results:

(1) The seeds I sow will determine the harvest I reap.
(2) There is no reaping unless I have been sowing.
(3) Sowers are committed to giving before receiving.
(4) Sowers enjoy giving more than receiving.
(5) Sowing daily into the lives of others will compound over time.

We spend our day either preparing or repairing. Preparing allows us to focus on today, while repairing forces us to clean up yesterday. Preparing invests for the future, repairing pays down past debts. Preparing increases efficiency, but repairing consumes precious time. Preparing increases confidence, while repairing breeds discouragement. Cherish each day to grow and develop, and avoid making mistakes which will return to haunt you. Remember: the secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda.

Reach Out and Ask Someone

Reach Out and Ask Someone


By nature, leaders are decision-makers. The more influential the leader, the more consequential their decisions will be. Leaders are out in front because they have proven their ability to choose the appropriate course of action when faced with big decisions.

However, when a leader begins to rely solely on personal observation and intuition, that leader is headed for trouble. Even the wisest among us has a limited perspective, and we will miss important decision-making clues if we become entirely self-reliant.

In this edition of LW, I am indebted to the brilliant thought of Dr. Saj-nicole A. Joni in her book, The Third Opinion. An extremely well-written text, The Third Opinion makes the case for the value of outside insight to the performance of a leader. In her book, Dr. Joni identifies four signs that the time is right to consult decision-making advice.

• When multiple decisions need to be made, and you don’t have the required amount of time to focus fully on each one.

• When the implications of the decision are far-reaching, and you know your organization will be in serious trouble if you don’t do the right thing.

• When you lack the expertise to tackle the issue on your own, regardless of whether you have the time.

• When you are capable of taking action, but you know the decision will be better off if you consult the experiences and insights of someone else.

As a leader, once you’ve determined to seek advice, how do you go about doing it? How can you most effectively glean insights from the thinking of advisors?

To Successfully Engage Others to Gain Insight Requires …

1. The Security of the Leader
2. The Credibility of the Process
3. The Quality of the Questions
4. The Ability of the Team

The Security of the Leader
Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it most like it least.
-- Dr. Samuel Johnson

Leaders can be stubborn when it comes to seeking advice. Insecure leaders who worry about their status, position, or power tend to reject the ideas of others, protect their turf, and keep people at bay. It takes a secure leader to admit their assumptions may be wrong, or to defer to the expertise of another.

Secure leaders routinely practice simple, but essential exercises to benefit from the advice of others. They create an environment where it’s safe to voice any opinion, regardless of its popularity. They listen, and they consult others with a genuine desire to learn and to broaden their vision. Secure leaders are willing to be wrong. They defer to the strength of an idea regardless of who the idea came from. Finally, leaders share the spotlight when a decision is successful and take the blame when it fails. By doing so, they earn the trust of advisors and keep the channels of communication open for future dialogue.

The Credibility of the Process

He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.
— Ben Johnson

The decision-making process unravels when the leader gravitates toward either of two extremes: refusing everyone’s advice or accepting everyone’s advice. Ignoring the advice of others results in a dictatorial leader who is limited by the confines of their own perspective. Accepting all advice leads to paralyzing groupthink, devoid of the critical thinking necessary to weed out poor or unrealistic ideas.

A wise leader builds a climate of shared thinking in which all opinions are welcome, but each is closely scrutinized before being accepted. Such a leader buys into the slogan, “none of us is as smart as all of us.” Shared thinking sparks innovation by opening multiple avenues for creative ideas rather than locking into ideas in the mind of a single leader. Shared thinking also gives ideas a chance to mature as they are polished and expanded in the sphere of team discussion.

The Quality of the Questions

When you stop wondering you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
— Johnny Carson

Perhaps, the hardest part of leadership is to keep sustained focus on essential topics and data above the urgent, immediate needs. When too much of the workday becomes urgent, leaders are sidetracked from following a central vision and careen aimlessly from crisis to crisis.

Leaders devote their most precious resource—unscheduled time—to the most important issues affecting the organization. They purposefully reflect and inquire about opportunities that hold the greatest potential to yield highest returns over time. The gravitational force of the workday gives immediate tasks too much pull. In the absence of careful planning, leaders will become starved for time.

The Ability of the Team

In seeking someone for advice, one of the biggest temptations is to assume that a person who verbalizes well also analyzes well. It’s not true. Good talkers aren’t always good thinkers.
— Fred Smith

Wisdom isn’t in the multitude of voices – it’s in listening to the right one. To maximize the value of shared thinking, leaders place people around the table who bring something to the table. As you prepare to ask people to participate in shared thinking, use the following criteria for the selection process. Choose…

People whose greatest desire is the success of the ideas.
People who can add value to another’s thoughts.
People who can emotionally handle quick changes in the conversation.
People who appreciate the strengths of others in areas where they are weak.
People who understand their place of value at the table.
People who possess maturity, experience, and success in the issue under discussion.
People who will take ownership and responsibility for decisions.
People who will leave the table with a “we” attitude, not a “me” attitude.
Too often, leaders select brainstorming partners based on feelings of camaraderie, circumstances, or convenience. To discover and create ideas of the highest order, the people invited to the table of thought make all the difference.

Let’s recap. Leaders remove the lid of limited perspective from their leadership when they consult the insight of others. To successfully engage others to gain insight requires…

1. The Security of the Leader
2. The Credibility of the Process
3. The Quality of the Questions
4. The Ability of the Team

Timing Time

Taming Time


Time is precious. Ask the coach whose team is behind in the final seconds of a game. Ask the air traffic controller in charge of scheduling takeoffs and landings at a major airport. Ask the news reporter who has just received a breaking story from the AP wire. Ask the cancer patient who has recently learned they have only two months left to live.

Time management is an oxymoron. Time is beyond our control, and the clock keeps ticking regardless of how we lead our lives. Priority management is the answer to maximizing the time we have. Our days are identical suitcases—all the same size—but some can pack more into them than others. No one has a magical ability to make time, but if our lives have direction, we can make the most of the moments we have been given.

Time is more valuable than money, because time is irreplaceable. “You don’t really pay for things with money,” says author Charles Spezzano in What to Do between Birth and Death. “You pay for them with time.” We exchange our time for dollars when we go to work and then trade our dollars for everything we purchase and accumulate. In essence, all we possess can be traced back to an investment of time. Time stewardship is perhaps a leader’s greatest responsibility. In the words of Peter Drucker, “Nothing else distinguishes effective executives as much as their tender loving care of time.”

In this edition of LW, we’ll look at five characteristics of people who use time wisely. The goal of the lesson is for us to understand how to maximize the precious minutes given to us each day.

Five Characteristics of a Wise Steward of Time

#1 Purposeful

People who use time wisely spend it on activities that advance their overall purpose in life. By consistently channeling time and energy toward an overarching purpose, a person most fully realizes their potential.

We cannot reach peak performance without a peak purpose. Purpose enlivens all that we do. In fact, I believe the two greatest days in a person’s life are the day they are born and the day they discover why. Uncovering purpose helps to refine passion, focus efforts, and sharpen commitments. The cumulative result is to amplify the achievements of the wise steward of time.

#2 Committed to Values

People who use time correctly underscore their values with the time they spend. By acting in accordance with their beliefs, they find fulfillment. Failure to identify values leads to a rudderless existence in which a person drifts through life, uncertain as to what they hold dear. Clarity of values is like a beacon of light, guiding the way through life’s twists and turns.

When extended to an organization, values inspire a sense of broader purpose. They make work worthwhile. In an organization, if vision is the head and mission is the heart, then values are the soul. Values endow day-to-day operations and transactions with meaning.

#3 Attuned to Strengths

People who use time correctly play to their strengths. By doing so, they are most effective. People don’t pay for average. If your skill level is a two, don’t waste substantial time trying to improve since you’ll likely never grow beyond a four. However, if you’re a seven in an area, hone that skill, because when you become a nine, you’ve reached a rare level of expertise. As Jim Sundberg says, “Discover your uniqueness; then discipline yourself to develop it.” You are blessed with a unique set of skills and talents. Find them, refine them, and let them carry you toward success.
I have identified four main strengths in my life. I lead well, create, communicate, and network. That’s it. I stick with those strengths and avoid getting caught up in commitments outside of those areas. By narrowing my focus to four strengths, I gain the greatest return on my investments of time.

#4 Choosers of Happiness

People who use time correctly choose happiness by prioritizing relationships and recreation. While choosing happiness may seem simple and obvious, far too many leaders are trying to prove themselves and validate their worth. These leaders chase after power and prestige, and along the way, their friendships wither, their family is ignored, and they skip vacation after vacation. In the end, any success they earn is a hollow and lonely achievement.

Family and friendships are two of the greatest facilitators of happiness. Prioritizing time to cultivate relationships is a hallmark of a healthy leader. Likewise, scheduling leisure combats stress and allows us to delight in the hobbies that bring us joy. However, in the end, happiness is an inside job. We are wise to surround ourselves with family, friends, and fun, but ultimately we determine our internal response to the people and circumstances in our lives.

#5 Equippers

People who use time correctly equip others in order to compound their productivity. They realize the limitations of individual attainment, and they build teams to expand their impact. By developing an inner circle of leaders and investing in them, wise time-users multiply their influence.

Equippers recognize that legacies are carried on by people, not trophies. They pour themselves into the lives of others and watch the ripple effect of their leadership spread through those they have taught and mentored. Equippers seek significance over the long term, which causes them to have a vested interest in the success of their successors.

Review

As much as we would like, we can’t find more time—it’s a finite and constantly diminishing resource. However, we can learn to spend time wisely.

People who use time correctly are…

1. Purposeful
2. Committed to Values
3. Attuned to Strengths
4. Choosers of Happiness
5. Equippers